You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
