and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
