She announced her abortion via fbk
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
