Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
