i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
