eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
