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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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