found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
