You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
