Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
