Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
