Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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