I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Randomize
