I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
