Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
