It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
