I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
