I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
