I will die if light touches me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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