Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
