Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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