I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Are we in a gay sports bar?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
