I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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