If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
