I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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