Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
