yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
