I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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