Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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