Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
