he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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