I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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