redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
