Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
