I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
