Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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