Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
