My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
