WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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