u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
