I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
