my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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