You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
