if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
