pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
