with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
