Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
