So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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