so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
