Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
